Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
I met Death, once.
And he was welcoming.

I smelled the blood
as it escaped from my body; as it ran from my wounds.

I tasted the salty tears
of which he kindly wiped from my face.

I felt his bony hands;
and they were like daggers that pierced my skin.

I watched as his dark cloak
engulfed me into a black nothingness.

In my suffering, I waited,
waited for his unforgiving clutch upon my soul.

I heard his rattling breath
as I drew my last.

I met Death, once.
And I welcomed him with open arms.
Oh hey look
I'm not dead

Oh and bonus points
A poem!

Just an idea. I don't particularly like it at the moment, but I definitely have some ideas to improve it at a later date.

Constructive criticism appreciated C:

Thanks,
Hawkie

Writing and idea/s (c) me [Hawkfeather-WaveClan]
Add a Comment:
 
:iconsolidmars:
SolidMars Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
aww :( that's rather sad, but i do like it, a lot in fact. I love how smooth it flows and how you portray yourself meeting death
a great piece dear :clap: 
Reply
:iconhawkieface:
Hawkieface Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Aww, thankyou c:
That really means a lot!!
Reply
:iconsolidmars:
SolidMars Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconyourewelcomesignplz:
Reply
:iconcutetango:
cutetango Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I love it :'D
Don't die anytime soon those XD
Reply
:iconhawkieface:
Hawkieface Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Ahww, thanks c:
And I'm not planning on it, ahaha~
Reply
:iconcutetango:
cutetango Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Good girl :pats head: XD
Reply
:iconhawkieface:
Hawkieface Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
//is pat on the head
Reply
:iconcutetango:
cutetango Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
:3
Reply
:iconslycooperfan:
slycooperfan Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2014  Student Writer
This is beautiful. The connection between Death and the narrator is magical. Have you perhaps read The Book Thief by Markus Zusak, perhaps?
Reply
:iconhawkieface:
Hawkieface Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer

Oh, thankyou! That means an awful lot to me .3.

No, I haven't had the chance yet, but would really love to. Many people have recommended it to me. May I ask why?

Reply
:iconmilk-and-pie:
Milk-and-Pie Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Not really a constructive criticism but just want to let you know I like it a lot. I like the senses you used to enhance the theme. :)

Have a lovely day. 
Reply
:iconhawkieface:
Hawkieface Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer

Oh, thankyou C: that's quite a compliment ^w^

I hope you have a lovely day also.

Reply
:iconmilk-and-pie:
Milk-and-Pie Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Very much welcome! :D
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
×

:iconhawkieface: More from Hawkieface


Featured in Collections


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
February 5, 2014
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
313
Favourites
20 (who?)
Comments
13
×